I wanted to be honest to everyone so that prayers continue and also for those that are behind us in their own journey, escecially the mommy's can prepare for their own feelings. Last night was pretty bad for me. I ,cried and cried and got on my knees and prayed. I felt lost, scared, homesick and seriously felt like I was having a panic attack, in which I have never had. Joe has been the absolute best husband, I know if he could he would take the feelings I have away. I know why we are here, I know Olga will die one day soon if we do not save her. I just wish these feelings would stop. I talked with my sister Amy last night and she prayed with me on the phone, I also spoke with Karrie and she had alot of encouraging words for me. I was also excited to see the kids on skype and happy to know they are having alot of fun.
The only thing I can come up with is that I need that court date, I need to be able to count down the days till Im home again. So please pray we are told our court date friday. And the countdown can begin. Im def. not a world traveler. Ive come to that conclusion quickly. Im hoping once we go to the orphange and get to see her I will be on a mission at that point.
Thanks for listening...will post tomorrow
LeaAnn
Oh LeAnn, this probably is not about being a world traveler! Think how different things would be if you were there on vacation! with ALL family members and a tour guide to show you around. As it is, you have left your kids behind for a very long time. You were left in an apartment with a "good luck, I will see you again this day this time" and you are on your own to fend in a country where people do not make eye contact, they speak a different language, and their alphabet makes no sense!
ReplyDeleteThis might just be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, so don't except to breeze bi it with a smile. It is very hard! I know exactly how you feel! Now we had the advantage of having friends there and Frank had been there for a while and became out tour guide.
Remember you are in a roller coaster, and you just have to hold on tight, sometimes even have to close your eyes and scream because it is scary!
But do enjoy as best you can. Take pictures and be a tourist. The apartment place actually has a tourist guy that can take you around and speaks English. It might give you something to do.
Oh friend, thank you for being transparent. It IS scary to be in a new and different place. Everything is so unfamiliar. You may never LOVE where you're at, but soon, you will appreciate it for what it is...the homeland of your daughter. Maybe God is allowing this little bit of fear so that you'll know just how Olga will feel once she's home. Same unfamiliar things for her, instead of you. Empathy goes a long way!
ReplyDeleteSo many people are at home praying for you. Keep talking to God. Keep the lines open.
PLEASE call me if you need to/want to. As a been there, done that, cried lots too, I'd love to talk.
Soon, my friend, soon, you'll be home.
Love you!
Praying! I'm not such a great traveler either.
ReplyDeleteThe world traveler you are not, you couldn't even make it a semester at Purdue with me. hahaha But that doesn't mean you can't do this. This is about a little girl who will very soon meet her mommy and daddy and soon after that meet her big brother and sister. A little girl who would some day die if not taken in and loved by YOU!!!! For that you are AMAZING!!!! Lean on God, for Peter said "Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you". We all care for you and Joe and love you both very much. Please don't worry that is a negative believing. The devil delights on our worrying and "what ifs". Don't give him the satisfaction, you are stronger than that. Keep your eye on Jesus, move slowly and you'll be home before you know it!!! Take the advice of others that have been "there" before you. Take a tours, be a tourist. Learn all you can about this country, because one day you will want to share it with Olga.
ReplyDeleteInstead of worrying we recite these versus and declare them,
"My God meets all my needs, through Christ Jesus my Lord." Phil:4-19.
Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; My (own) peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you." John 14:17
The worst liar in the world is panic or fear. You need to remember that Jesus loves you and has promised to be with you. He said, "fear NOT, I am with you." "Do not be seized with alarm, have no fear, keep on believing." Acts 18:10 Math.14:23 Mark 5:36.
One last bit of wisdom from you Big Sister!!!
Always remember that worry and fear are not from God, and God has given us the authority to tread on them. Do not let your heart be troubled. We must gain knowledge of God's faithful goodness. Then when fear knocks at our door instead of crying out for fear, we should cry out in FAITH!!. "FEAR I COMMAND YOU, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, NOT TO ATTACK ME. I TAKE AUTHORITY OVER YOU, GOD LOVES ME. HE HAS GIVEN ME POWER OVER YOU. YOU WILL NOT ATTACH ME ANYMORE." Luke 10:19. When we resist, he will flee.
I love you and will continue to pray this for you!!!
Praying for you guys constantly. Remember, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. LeAnn, my heart goes out to you, i would feel the same way. You can do this!!! love you guys.
ReplyDeleteSam, You are so brave. What you are doing, and the commitment you and Joe are making takes real inner strengh. It takes a very special family to open its door and hearts like your little family has. I am so proud to be your Dad. You will be fine Honey. The Lord does not give us a task without equipping us to get it done. And He has really blessed you two. Joe I have always thought very highly of you, And I am equally proud to call you my Son-in-law. Take care of each other, and please keep posting. Stay busy the Devil likes to attack idle hands. Love Dad & Pam
ReplyDeleteLeaAnn,
ReplyDeleteI know you are not a world traveler, it was tough on you to complete a semester at Purdue. hahahaha
All joking aside, I want you to remember why you are there. This little girl will very soon meet her mommy and daddy and soon after her big brother and sister. For that you are AMAZING!!! You need to take the advice from those that have been "there" before you. take advantage of the time, take the tours, be a tourist. Once day this little girl will want to know where she came from and you will want to tell her!!!
So, I have been praying for you today and this always comes to mind, because it has always worked for me. As you Big Sister I want to share a little of my wisdom with you!!!
Peter says" Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." Worrying is a negative believing. The devil just delights to start you on "what if ". Instead of worrying you should be saying to yourself, "My God meets all my needs, through Christ Jesus my Lord." Phil:4-19. Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; My (own) peace I now give and bequeath to you." John 14:27.
Always remember that worry and fear are not from God, and God has given us the authority to tread on them. Do not let your heart be troubled. We must gain knowledge of God's faithful goodness. Then when fear knocks at our door instead of crying out for fear, we will cry out in FAITH. When you start to feel a panic attack, I want you to say out loud the following: "Fear I command you, in the name of Jesus, not to attack me. I take authority over you, God loves me. He has given me power over you. You will not attack me anymore." Luke 10:19. When we resist, he will flee.
We love you guys so much!!!
This is a highly charged, emotional time for you, hang in there , and i bet once you get olga in your arms you will feel MUCH BETTER :)
ReplyDeleteHUGS !!
The first week of our trip was the absolute hardest for me. Once we were in region, settled into our apartment, and created a routine of sorts, I felt much better. And once we finally got our court date, a huge weight was lifted.
ReplyDeletePraying that they will quickly assign your court date so you'll be able to mentally prepare. And in the meantime, praying for comfort and peace that only our God can provide!
Jenn